A word on drinking

Ok, so, I don't spill too much about what's on my mind or my feelings etc. I do that for a reason. But I just feel it's at the time I share this. Over the last year and a half, pretty much since last summer, I drink a lot. I wouldn't consider myself at "alcoholic" status but then again I guess it depends on who's scale we're going by here. Anyway, I began to think about why I drink. Does it taste good? Is it just something other people are doing? What's the deal?! Why do this thing that pretty much makes me a different person and why do something that I end up spending so much money on?! Come on Mike, get with the picture! lol

Anyway, I started narrowing down why I drink. Honestly I have no problem just kicking back and having a beer while fishing or hanging with my road dog and/or friends. But why the excessiveness? And here's my outcome: because I'm more socially attractive to people. 

Say what?! I know, who and why would someone say such a thing!  But it's true. When I drink I feel wanted. I feel like I'm funnier to people, I feel more attractive to girls and it just overall makes me feel like people want to be around me. And as much as that breaks my heart, I feel like it's true. 

Friendzone

This is a term I have become common with. And by no means am I ashamed of this, but please understand, in some ways it gets depressing always being overlooked and shadowed to this. I am respectful and kind to women, this automatically puts me in the "friendzone" apparently? One of the hardest things I have to hear from girls is, "I want a nice guy", "Where are all the good guys?", "All guys are assholes", "Mike, you're going to make a great boyfriend or husband to a lucky woman!" But apparently I don't qualify for you? What's up with that? This is like one of those bittersweet things. Like it's nice to be there for someone in times of need but at the same time it's like saying "Hello! I'm here too!" And yet, overlooked and pushed to the side. 

Looks

I only mention this because it is so true. I have proven my case multiple times and it hurts hearing people say no, it's about personality. I have heard that SO many times. And as much as I try and believe, it only works if you've got the looks. And I know where I'm at. I'm not the one who gets the "double look", I'm not the one with the great hair, the great body, etc. So once again, we can discuss this but I already know the outcome. 

Personality

I feel like my mission in life is the "plucky comic relief" and that's all I'm good for. That's all I can say about that. 

I hate complaining and spilling my feelings 'cause usually it doesn't get me anywhere and most people try and prove my theory wrong. But we all know it's true. So as I mentioned before, I drink because I am socially attractive. I'm funnier when I drink. I'm only attractive when I or women are drinking. Etc... 

One of my high school teachers once told my class that we all wear invisible signs that say "notice me".   And I have held that close to me for a long time, I try and notice the unnoticed with or without drinking. 

For some reason I've had that brewing up. I hope you all have a great day. 

-Mikey J-